LETTER – What if Santa paid a surprise visit to City Hall this Christmas?

What if Santa decided to pay a surprise visit to City Hall in the afternoon on December 23rd?  Let’s see what might happen.

Santa arrives in his sleigh pulled by 8 reindeer and a ninth being Rudolf who has the best view of all!  Santa sees the Mayor’s parking spot empty so he parks his sleigh and walks up the stairs carrying his bag of gifts.  He pulls open the door and bellows “HO HO HO, Merry Christmas” in the way only Santa can do.

Immediately, two CSOs respond and stop Santa in his tracks.  The tall one with the gruff voice confronts Santa. “What are YOU doing here dressed like that and carrying a bag?”  The short one with the higher, timid voice warns Santa, “You’d better leave or I’m calling the RCMP!  You aren’t a little old lady wearing a purple sweater and carrying a walking stick but we know how to deal with people like YOU!”  Then together, they say in two part harmony, “Sir, you have to leave.”

“But”, Santa explained, “I’m here to deliver Christmas gifts to all the boys and girls here at City Hall.  Mrs. Claus and I have kept track of everyone who has been naughty or nice and timid or bold. Every gift I have to leave behind is here in my sack of goodies.  I don’t want to be trouble for anyone.”

Someone from an office had heard the commotion and came to intervene.  “Let the old guy stay and show us what he has in his sack of goodies (chuckle chuckle chuckle).”

Santa carefully opened his sack full of goodies.  The gifts weren’t wrapped but Santa said that someone should know where they all go.  On top was a brand new “secret recorder” ideal for making secret recordings.  Next was a 2 foot long wooden rod that had “Point of Order” inscribed on it.  The next thing Santa removed was a genuine Whoopie cushion.  (Santa said that was for someone very special.) Digging a bit deeper, Santa tugged and tugged until a quaint little soapbox came into view.  On the soapbox, one of Santa’s elves had painted, “For the next news conference.”

Santa paused , took a deep breath and said that it looked like those were all the special gifts he had in his sack of goodies. “The only things left are lumps of coal!” “Where should I leave these?”, Santa asked.

“Here, put them in here”,  said the short one with the higher, timid voice. “This was the Mayor’s office but he isn’t allowed in here now. He’s been a very, very, very bad boy!”

Santa gently piled those lumps of coal on top of the unused desk.  With his eyes full of tears, Santa turned away to leave.  He said to the three, “I didn’t find the spirit of Christmas here.  You folks have it all but you really have nothing. I must be going now. Please enjoy your coal.”

As Santa was leaving on his sleigh, the sound of a choir singing could be heard: