“THE COVID VACCINE is designed to microchip us,” states a recent post on Facebook; which once again proves we have yet to invent a vaccine that eliminates the rampant spread of the stupidity contagion.
Now I don’t know about you but if it were true, I’d be kind of flattered if the government thought I was important enough to be chipped and tracked, especially using a vaccine that hasn’t yet been invented…Or has it?
Still, these past few months of isolation have made it difficult to maintain existing friendships let alone new ones, so hey there spy agencies of Canada, thanks for caring, reaching out, staying in touch and watching. After all, it’s been kind of lonely and your quiet omnipresence and acknowledgement of my importance is appreciated.
However, despite the comforting feelings of secret surveillance by Big Brother, I’m curious to know why some guy seriously thinks the government would spend so much time and money, covertly gathering information when we provide it to them for free?
Think about it for a moment. We’ve given the supposed Dark Government everything they need and what more could they possibly want than what is freely available on Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram, or even that crazy TikTok?
Assuming they actually want it, everything is there for the taking, and big brother need only flatter us with an occasional like to keep that line of communications wide open.
Our credit cards will tell them where we’ve been, what we did and how much it cost. To make it easier though, we post pictures of our travels, meals, adventures, family, friends, pets and everything else, so they really don’t need VISA to find out what we’ve been doing.
Google knows secrets about us that even we are probably not fully aware of. And talk about secrets, our internet service provider knows that you actually did visit that porn site a couple of days ago.
Apple and Microsoft have records of our activities going back to the moment before time began…Yes they’ve been around that long now.
Fit Bit or your iWatch knows the truth when you tell your friends you jogged 10km first thing this morning. And speaking of health issues, 23AndMe has your complete DNA profile on file and readily available.
And maybe we should have a talk about using your debit card at the liquor store and what as a result, they’ve managed to learn about your drinking habits.
Why, I wonder, would anyone think governments need to invest billions to develop a secret and risky nanotechnology microchip that would in the end, simply gather information they could access using an old Commodore 64?
Conspiracy theories, especially those based on some secret, dark government organization, always fall apart for the same reasons. It is a combination of the government’s inability to keep a secret, conspiracy theorist’s child-like inability to think, and everyone’s inability to resist the urge to post something, anything, on social media.
Then again, I’m told that the new 5G Network can read your mind, so even if you don’t post, they’ll still know everything……
Bill McQuarrie is a former magazine publisher, photojournalist and entrepreneur. Semi-retired and now living in Port McNeill, you can follow him on Instagram #mcriderbc or reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.