HARRISON – Cavers’ promise to ‘eat my shorts’ conjures tempting images

DONOVAN CAVERS and Bart Simpson don’t exactly look alike, but evidently they do have something in common.

“Eat my shorts” is a trademark Bart Simpson phrase, defined as expressing his attitude toward authority figures.

No doubt the maverick councillor was trying to inject a little humour into the debate over the need for a nearly $10 million emergency water intake on the North Shore, declaring he’d eat his shorts if that expensive insurance policy would ever be used in his lifetime.

Which got us to thinking… how would he do that? We understand there are some people in this world who have a fetish for underwear, but eating a pair we haven’t heard about as much.

Would he want those shorts to be freshly washed, or well worn, made out of hemp, or cotton? Would they be boxers, or briefs, and would he just rip his teeth into them and tear off chunks, or be more refined, and gobble them up in neat little squares with a knife and fork?

Would he want some seasoning, perhaps pepper, salt, mustard, or ketchup, or a little Siracha sauce?

Whatever, it doesn’t seem much like a spectator sport, even though Tina Lange declared she’d want to be there to see it.

So would we, almost to the point of seeing the City put into a position to use the emergency water intake just to see it happen.

Once built, maybe they could switch it on for a day, just to see Cavers eat his shorts.

Listen to Jim Harrison’s editorials weekdays on Radio NL, and to the Jim Harrison Show at 9:08 a.m. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Contact him at jharrison@radionl.com.