Have some pity for wobbly and weak-willed cyclists

Former Kamloops boy Jack Knox now writes from Victoria.

COLUMN — I was asked to speak about commuter cycling the other day because, apparently, Rob Ford was already booked.

Felt a bit like a faker. Asking me to talk about commuter cycling at a Bike To Work Week event is like asking the guy who brings his smokes to the TC 10K to talk about running.

I ride a fair bit, but I’m not a hard-core commuter. I spend more time in a car than on a bike. I don’t like cycling in the dark. I don’t like riding when the weather gets its own chapter in the Bible. I don’t like getting helmet hair (that one might be a stretch).

I have neither the skill, courage, fitness nor the suicidal tendencies of those who flit through heavy traffic in a way that makes motorists want to smack them with a fly swatter. In cycling gear, I look as though something went terribly wrong at the sausage factory. Fox News has better balance. Climate change is faster. When climbing a hill, I have to decide whether to have a heart attack right there, or wait until after the dry heaves.

In short, I represent the wobbly and the weak-willed.

Which makes me the ideal messenger for the 20th edition of Victoria’s Bike To Work Week.

For this is the deal: Bike To Work Week is not just for accomplished cyclists. That’s the whole point.

Cycling is not supposed to be an exclusive activity. You should not have to look like Lance, or own a million-dollar bike. It is easy enough and accessible enough for most Victorians to be able to ride at least some of the time. You can stay in your comfort zone. You can ride when it works for you.

This is what cycling advocates argue as they try to coax you — perhaps a little too eagerly, like that time my wife persuaded me to try quinoa — into the fold.

The advantages are obvious, they say. You save money. You save the environment. It’s good for the heart (and the butt).

Some of the less obvious benefits were rhymed off by Dr. Richard Stanwick, Island Health’s chief medical health officer.

First, cycling improves sexual performance. Really. It was in a scientific study, conducted by people in white lab coats. (“Of course, men should make sure to use the right bicycle seat,” Stanwick cautions.)

Second, lifelong cyclists look three to five years younger than they actually are. Something to do with collagen and the flow of blood to the skin, according to a British report.

Also, forget William Shatner and those All-Bran commercials. Nothing promotes regularity like the old Schwinn.

Riding is good for brain health, too. “It gives you a better fighting chance against dementia,” Stanwick says. That’s true of any exercise, not just cycling — though riding is something you can do as you age, when being active is important. (Where Canadian seniors end up in scooters, Europeans tend to be more robust, transitioning onto electric-assist bikes.)

Of course, it would help if it were possible go pedal from Point A to B in this town without it turning into a white-knuckled adventure for drivers and riders alike. Puffing down Blanshard the other day, I almost got turned into pavement paste by a tandem dump truck whose trailer wheels strayed into the bike lane. (Somewhere, a little girl screamed. Wait, no, it was me.)

Victoria may brag about being the Cycling Capital of Canada, but that’s really just like advertising the coldest beer in Tehran: the competition’s not that stiff. In no other country do you need to make out a will before saddling up. Most nations do not equate “adult on bike” with “lost driver’s licence.” Most do not have the likes of Don Cherry, who at Ford’s inauguration took a shot at “all the pinkos out there who ride bicycles and everything.”

It is getting better, though. Arguably, the more bikes are on the road, the safer it gets; as drivers, we now expect to see cyclists, are less likely to blindly pull into or across their paths, statistically the most common cause of collisions.

At the least, we should all have heightened awareness when the committed commuters are joined by the wobbly and weak-willed.

© Copyright Times Colonist