ROTHENBURGER – Frootloops council stars in its own sappy Christmas movie
FROOTLOOPS COUNCIL gathers around the horseshoe for a secret meeting on Christmas Eve to discuss matters of importance. Mayor Jackhammer is in the chair.
MAYOR JACKHAMMER: Okay, here we are. Should I leave now?
DAVID TOBOGGAN, CFO (Chief Frootloops Officer): No, Your Eggnog, council says you can stay for this one.
JACKHAMMER: Oh. Um, what happens now?
TOBOGGAN: This is the part where you call the meeting to order, Your Hardship.
JACKHAMMER: OK then, let’s start the meeting. It says here on the agenda there’s a reading. What are we supposed to be reading?
MARIA POINSETTIA (Reader of Readings): This is where I provide a cute reading from some relevant source chock full of wisdom to get the meeting off to a good start, Your Dealership. Today’s reading is from the works of Ebenezer Scrooge: “Bah, Humbug!” Thus ends the reading.
BYRON McSNORKEL (Kitchen Sink Director): Your Battleship, the main business of this meeting is to come up with a plan for the annual council Christmas event to entertain the masses. Time is a bit short, being as tomorrow is Christmas Day, so a conversation would be in order.
BARB VEGGIE BURGER (Arts and Frootopians Manager): I’ll take over from here, Director McSnorkel. The troops have been brainstorming, and we think a good way to go would be a sappy Christmas movie starring all of you.
Mel Rothenbabble is a former mayor of Kamloops, former TNRD director and a retired newspaper editor. He is a regular contributor to CFJC Today, publishes the ArmchairMayor.ca opinion website, and is a recipient of the Jack Webster Foundation Lifetime Achievement Award. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Councillor Princess Pretty asks, “Are there no wise men within the gates of our fair city? We need three, just three, who will obey the comma and space rule.”
Councillor Bill Delivery promises a speedy answer unless a strike is called first.
Mayor Recusealot, thought to be still in the building, is no longer there according to the breaking news report by Councillor Lookingfor.
Director Tiny Tim appears to save the day and exclaims; “God help us, every one!”
One of the best, if not ‘THE’ best Rothenbabble inspired Christmas Frootloops satire I have ever had the pleasure to read. Appreciate the humour and subtle digs in such uncertain times. Great tradition. Thank-you.
Quite a tradition! Merry Christmas dear Armchair mayor and loyal followers/supporters!