GUEST COLUMN – We were like family, but that has been lost forever

Jeremy Heighton.

It has been just over a month of chaos, executive orders and the preliminary steps of dismantling the U.S. government by the current administration. While the systemic erosion of leadership, unilateral dismissal of probationary employees, attacks on allies, and so much more have left the world aghast. But, there is something deeper; something that has been hard to put my finger on.

In this last trip (and I mean last for a while – not most recent), I tried to understand why the world, and mostly Canada has been left with a sense of profound loss over the U.S. situation. In many ways, I’ve been grappling, much as I suspect some of you have as to what went wrong, and why we are so lost. I honestly think it goes beyond the dictator at the helm. I think the sense of loss stems from decades of similarities, almost togetherness, as nations.

I recall in 1974, siting in my bedroom in the Fraser Valley, my blue plastic 1960s radio with the big round dial was on my side table. I clicked the small volume knob and the speaker crackled to life with static. As I slowly turned the tuner dial, stations – some near and some faint – faded in and out.

Suddenly, with such force I panicked and turned the volume down, a Bellingham Washington station blared out, playing Terry Jack’s big hit Seasons in the Sun. I stared out my bedroom window and sang along, thinking “someday I will be a rock star”. (Short story on that is that I cant sing, dance or carry a tune, so that dream never materialized).

That was my first memory of our relationship with the states. Since then, from my perspective we have shared movies, music, culture, and art.

We have collectively sparred in sports, participated in cross border tournaments, and;

Probably most importantly responded and supported each other in times of crises.

We built a family – by choice, not just because we are neighbours. When the recent changes started to occur, and the cross hairs leveled at Canada, it was like the family imploded.

Suddenly our older brother hated us, and there were no parents in the room to help us sort it out. Fear and anger percolated to the surface, rising faster and more violently than we realized.

The hatred and toxic language took over and the rest of the family and voices of reason retreated to safety, scared of getting swept up in the situation.

So many of us are devastated by what is happening across the line. We have lost a family member, brother, sister, ally.

The sad and sobering truth is: the relationship will never return to what it was. The trust has been broken and the changes that have already been made, will take decades to undo, if they ever get undone.

Back to my recent trip.

For the first time in all my years going to the states, there was something different in the air, a feeling a darkness. We attended an event with 40,000 other people. There were 60 countries represented, and normally, you see each country’s colours flying proudly. Not this time. There were no demonstrations of pride, instead there were concerns for safety; a pervasive feeling of a need to blend in, not stand out. It was a heavy intangible feeling that hung over the whole trip.

As we listened to the news and observed our surroundings I realized it was a sense of dread, a fear held by each individual: Fear of loss of social security (retirement), fear of loss of employment, fear of loss of medical and food security and so much uncertainty. When you tuned into what was going on, it became clear, the US is a country in complete crises.

It too is feeling the uncertainty and loss. It is reacting the only way it knows how, through ego and bravado (denial) for some and silence for others.

When I got back to Canada, I was sitting in the Vancouver airport with Kathy, a Tim Hortons coffee in front of me. And it’s like a weight suddenly lifted. I felt an overwhelming sense of safety and comfort knowing I was home and safe. I realized that regardless of what is going on in the states, there are some things we need to focus on: