GUEST COLUMN – Do we really believe we’re responsible for our own actions?
(Image: Mel Rothenburger)
By LYNNE STONIER-NEWMAN
Guest Columnist
“YOUR ACTIONS are within your own control.”
Gosh, Mel, I would like to agree with that statement you made in your Dec. 3 column titled “ROTHENBURGER – Sarai’s atonement went part way but not far enough …”
Lynne Stonier-Newman.
Lynne Stonier-Newman here … and with a big “BUT, Mel, are you sure that self-responsibility for one’s actions IS still true in this social-media-shaped world of 2024?”
Do each of us actually expect … accept … and act according to that basic core concept I am fully responsible for my actions?
In my opinion, that is a subject needing discussion and honest clarification. Because if a well-experienced City of Kamloops councillor does not comprehend that, who does?
As an elder who was raised hearing the words responsible for … appropriate … principled … ethics … and raised to know what behaviours are expected of me, I can guarantee I do accept that … and I suspect that you do, too, Mel.
BUT I wonder … do our Canadian and British Columbia political representatives think and function within those precepts now? Can we voters expect our elected individuals to value and honour that he or she has committed to taking full responsibility for his or her own actions and for accepting all consequences?
Or has apologizing — and/or pleading extenuating circumstances — or having had a personal blip — become the acceptable norm?
I am unsure. I didn’t ask that question of the candidates before deciding whose name I would choose with my X …
Why?
Because I was a voter and taxpayer who trusted we would receive good value and cohesive governance in exchange for paying each council member a fair renumeration. (Councillors receive $46,916 each and the mayor’s rate is $128,693 City of Kamloops: for 2023) When I voted for a candidate, I didn’t even consider whether that individual was possibly thinking, when personally convenient, I’ll manage, supervise and create innovative solutions for Kamloops’ governance.
Am I naive to feel disappointed that our City’s needs for co-operative and effective governance has not yet occurred since the current councillors and mayor took their chairs? Naive because I expect each person elected would take responsibility for each of his or her actions without shading that with his or her extenuating personal circumstances.
Similarly, can you decipher for me what does latitude of personal behaviour acceptable in the social-media-shaped-new-language mean? That phrase seems to imply an individual does not always have to honour the CODE of CONDUCT he or she swore to when legally becoming a Kamloops City councillor.
Really? Does that personal latitude factor mean an elected official has the right to not comply with the clearly stated rules for behaviour? Scary, as doesn’t our demographic system of governance depend on each of our elected individuals accepting a Code of Conduct when he or she signs the Oath of Office?
I’m mystified. If that isn’t an elected person’s core obligation to voters, how can cohesive governance be the norm? And why have a Code of Conduct, if there are to be confusing exceptions?
And … if the standards of conduct candidates are offering to voters become unclear, why will anyone bother to vote?
Me? I believe my actions are within my own control …
I am responsible for each one of my actions and must accept all consequences.
What do you believe?
And what does each City of Kamloops councillor and the mayor believe … and practice?
Lynne Stonier-Newman is a resident of Kamloops. She’s a social marketing and communication consultant, and a B.C. historian and author.
ArmchairMayor.ca 
Lynne you write “Do each of us actually expect … accept … and act according to that basic core concept I am fully responsible for my actions?” Good question for a lawyer.
Yes, if you assume that individuals exist in a cultural homogeneity with imposed standards of justice on everyone.
Yes, if you think we act according to nature, not nurture.
Yes, if you think that we have free will.
But we don’t exist in cultural homogeneity.
Nature and nurture work together but its nurture that influenced LYNNE STONIER of the Serengeti to heed a warning of danger and climb a tree otherwise she became a meal for the saber tooth tiger.
Core values are due to nurture, they are learned.
We learn a core of values from the culture we live in, the church we go to or not, what we read, and who we associate with.
When does free will come into play in human development to be “fully responsible for [—] [our] actions?” It depends on nature, as it is genetic. nce we learn the imposed values of our society, our free will to choose to be responsible comes through critical thinking. Some develop critical thinking early in life, some later and some never.
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Great post.
politics have changed and it’s taken a while to filter down to the local level where things become glaringly obvious.
The political spectrum is almost irrelevant right now as the world shifts. The most important thing voters need to do right now is look at candidates on a psychological spectrum.
Whose actions show selfless behaviour? Who has shown she or he is capable of generating an income outside of politics and non profits? Who is discretionary with their own money? Who uses refractive language with truth, and who will say what happened and then let adult voters make up their minds if the situation was dealt with as best as possible ?
Who demonstrates that she or he can see things from several perspectives? Who treats people by the standards they set for others?
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Was Katie responsible for her actions on March 17, 2023 Marshall?
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” … in this social-media-shaped world of 2024, do each of us actually expect … accept … and act according to that basic core concept I am fully responsible for my actions? “
In a word … yes.
And thats not to say that others need to act as I do, but that we learned in sociology class that it is in our collective best interest to operate within what we call the societal conservative norm – which means we have decided that its not appropriate to walk down the street buck naked or relieve bodily functions on the restaurant dining table, or any range of behaviours we all decide is … not ok – and we are fine with this baseline.
Its not ok to intentionally play bumper-cars in traffic.
This expectation of baseline actions and social behaviours that we as a group laid out long ago have not changed, and should not change due to social media twisting of what is social responsibility.
Is apologising for intentional or accidental slip ups by public facing people (or even in our own homes between loved ones, in private) … a new thing, or a new acceptable norm?
Is there any connection as a phenomenon created by social media?
No … we have apologized to others for our poor choices or behaviours for thousands of years, long before the internet.
And no … Ms. Stonier-Newman, you are not naïve in the slightest, you simply have expectations of behaviour based from the standards of your very appropriate upbringing, that says that people should be responsible … without qualifiers. That’s not a bad thing.
Now … around us, have these standards slipped in this world; at the same time as hyper-responsibility and cancel culture … we have people following and glomming onto public personalities that shuck any attempt of following this conservative norm for the attention seeking shock value of it all, or for the thrill of the adrenaline rush of being so inappropriate?
The trumps, Elon Musk’s, Logan Paul’s and Joe Rogan’s of the world?
Possibly. People with less or weaker pre-plumed in training of appropriate behaviour in their formative years, watch these characters and infer that what they do is ‘the way to be’ … so we find ourselves in this place of questioning if our stolid standards of behaviour still apply.
In my opinion the only way to act is to hold firm to forcing public facing miscreants to this long held standard of behaviour, from our local politicians to larger personalities … and vote with our ballot, our feet and our attention.
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When and if…those two magical words that deserve to become a religion and are asked by those of us who have internalized personal responsibility for our words and actions show, that it is possible to stop blaming others, the government, our parents, our poverty, or someone or something who were not responsible our mistakes, lack of ethics or wrong assumptions.
This is what impossible piss tanks (drunks) learn when and if they manage to get sober, reasonable and livable for themselves and all others around them.
Interesting it also applies to other habitual dysfunctional behaviors. It is also what many of us teach children.
I was an impossible piss tank for 25 years. Now I am clean, sober and responsible for more years than that. Taking responsibility is a skill that can be learned. Learn it. You will love yourself more in a good way.
Kudos to Lynne…!
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Well said, Lynne Stonier Newman! Sent from my iPhone
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I am quite certain BS grew up in a pre-social media world. So social media has little or nothing to do with BS BS.
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Some food for thought, Lynne. Remuneration aside, each person was elected as an individual and therefore I feel they have an individual responsibility for the actions they take.
Was Katie demonstrating “the great commission” during the St. Paddy’s Day fiasco? She had an individual choice in that matter; had she chosen the wrong path? What could have been “a Jesus moment”, wasn’t.
What concerns me most, Lynne, is that picture etched in my mind of the early days of “the Team” where the 8 individually-elected members of our municipal government were seated with the then CAO David Trawin. Was that the beginning of the shunning of the elected Mayor and the shaping of “the gang”?
Shunning is a terrible form of human activity but apparently is still practised in the 21st century. As Mac suggested, ask Reid, his beautiful wife and his family members what shunning actually accomplishes.
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Not Bill Sarai, enabled by his fellow council clique. You see, it was the Mayor “bringing out the worst in people” that forced Bill Sarai to do what he did.
It was the Mayor that forced Bill Sarai to curse and swear into the halls of City Hall, calling his fellow council member a “snake” as he yelled and cursed all the way to his car.
Yes, even the attempted set up and encouragement from Bill “say what you gotta say Reid” as his little device was recording in his pocket.
It was all the Mayor’s fault don’t you know? Bill had no choice but to do what he did. And the blame certainly is not with Bill or Council.
Even Kelly Hall had it right when he said the report has nothing to do with the screaming and swearing incident with Bill Sarai (just don’t read the report and the reporting at the time that stated the argument was the genesis of the report against the Mayor).
Middleton shutting down the council meeting (out of order mind you, and nary a peep from the Corporate Officer). Surprised?
No seconds for public input. We wouldn’t want public input now would we?
Bill Sarai tried to play chess, but he hardly understood tiddlywinks. Yet he will persist, making decisions for you and me, because it’s the Mayor that’s the problem, don’t you know
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