Ginta — On times spent slowly and why children need us to make it happen for them (and us)

Daniela Ginta writes for the Armchair Mayor News on Fridays.

COLUMN — Today there is no school. Instead, we are all tucked into a wood workshop in Cherry Creek with sweeping views of hills powdered with clouds and snow, and a red fireplace that glazes us all in pleasant warmth.

A field trip of some sort, where hands-on gets real and the meaning of work and fun reinvented. The boys love it. They listen to instructions, learn how to use saws and sanders and nail guns, they make wooden wheels fit on wooden trucks and realize it takes a while to do so.

We’ve been here before so we feel at home. Yet children grow and so their abilities to handle tools and their inclination to try, and try harder until they get it. This year their fingers are surer than last year. So is their determination to do things right. It’s the way it’s always been, a way that is being somewhat lost in the age of instant gratification and instant results.

Just click and it appears does not apply here at all. Children nowadays handle everything in a hurry and to say they are at fault for it would be unfair. It’s how it all works, life in general, and truth is, we’ve all become somewhat complacent to it.

We eat in a hurry, we hurry to go places, and we are generally in a hurry to leave time for other activities that we will hurry through. What is worse, we stay connected to gadgets that tell us where we are to go, when to go, which way is shorter and they also inform us of the next activities on the list, pushing the adrenaline levels closer to frantic than we’ve ever imagined.

So what are children to learn then? Taking shortcuts, fitting more in their days, no idle moments to collect thoughts and smell the roses. They learn to hurry, and they learn to expect them just as fast. Idle times have their worth. We’ve always had them.

Nowadays toddler potties come with a screen of some sort, and so do baby swings and bouncers. Babies have dedicated TV programs and they grow hooked on screen stimulation as if their lives depended on them. Devices like that seal the space that would otherwise exist as it always has: free of artificial intruders.

It is time to look around, think and discover. That is an essential thing for someone just starting out in life, and essential to keep on cultivating for years to come.

Unfortunately, children cannot do it on their own. We are losing the ability to take it easy and slow as we speak. And we are losing the ability to dedicate time to doing ‘nothing.’ Which is never the case really, because you never do just that.

When you leave a child to do nothing he or she will end up creating something. A side effect every parent knows about is, of course, the mishaps we have all encountered (or caused, as curious and intrepid children) but be it so, you have to look at the big picture.

In the age of dwindling attention spans, allowing children to slow down and offering nothing but space to exist in with all their intentions and ideas, creates a sense of self, readjusts the limits of imagination and prompts their brains to bloom into thoughts and actions that will give them confidence and incite their curiosity for further exploration.

I look at my boys right now trying various tools, learning how delicate they need to be with some, how they need to convey all their strength to handle others, how they need to abide by the safety rules or else, and they strive to meet the expectations by moving slowly and sure. Mistakes included, because that’s how learning happens. It takes a long time to put a toy truck together.

On the good side, the toy is so solid it will last a lifetime, or more. I cannot escape the thought of waste on the opposite end of the toy spectrum – the plastic ones. Christmas time approaching, rivers of toys will flow from stores to homes and just as well, a little bit down the road, from homes to landfills.

Few will last to see the years to come. They are made fast, sold even faster and used by hurried hands that are learning to take everything for granted. At the same time, with the blinking, clicking toys, out goes the focus and attention span of children, and the ability to slowly explore and be curious about.

Many Lego building sets, an otherwise wonderful toy, belong more to the movie industry than they belong to children. With them come apps and online contests and the building part fades to give way to more clicking.

Perhaps it’s time to reconsider. Make it vital to find time for free play, free thinking, and slow times. We need to bring kids in the proximity of learning by touching and handling things, without any excessive bubble wrapping but guidance and trust they’ll rise to the challenge. They’ll learn that anything that is meant to last cannot be made in a hurry.

Watching children spend time doing ‘nothing’ and seeing their eyes sparkle with the realization of having discovered so much during that time, makes one realize that the best way to understand it would be to join in.

Today, a kind grandpa guided the boys through working with wood in his cozy workshop, through the building of toys and learning how things become. He told them stories of houses well-built, of why it has to be so, and at the end they said what I hoped they will: ‘Can we come again soon?’

Yes, of course.

Daniela Ginta is a mother, scientist, writer and blogger. She can be reached at daniela.ginta@gmail.com, or through her blog at http://www.thinkofclouds.com.