When I die, I’m sure I’ll hear somebody say, ‘Shouldn’t he have died 15 minutes ag_’

COLUMN — I must have been born 15 minutes late. My body clock has never caught up.

Whatever the appointment, event, meeting, no matter what the agreed-upon time, I’m going to get there 15 minutes late.

It doesn’t matter how far in advance I plan, or when I start getting ready. Something will get in the way.

It’s embarrassing, walking into a room and watching to see if anybody glances at his watch. I’m late for coffee, late for the dentist, late for the movies, late for dinner. When I die, I know I’m going to hear somebody say, “Cripes, he’s still alive. Shouldn’t he have died 15 minutes a—.” When they refer to me as the late Mel Rothenburger, they’ll mean it, and not in a kind way.

There’s nothing worse than waiting for a late person. When people call a meeting for 9 a.m., they’d like to start at 9 a.m.

But it’s complicated getting ready to go somewhere. There’s a lot more to it than taking a shower and throwing on some clothes and heading out. There are many details to be taken care of, which I won’t go into now.

And then you lose your keys. Or your cellphone is dead and you have to take a few minutes to charge it. Or you can’t find change for the parking kiosk. Or you realize you haven’t fed the cat.

Or you’re halfway down the driveway when you wonder if you unplugged the iron and locked the front door. You’re pretty sure you did but if you don’t go back and check you’re going to wonder all day long whether the house is still going to be standing when you get home.

It does no good, at least not with me, to call the meeting for 8:45. My brain knows they really mean 9, so I’ll still arrive at 9:15. At least I’m aware of it.

Lots of late people don’t realize how obnoxious it is being late. They go through life thinking it’s OK. Some people think meetings actually don’t start on time, that the symphony is going to warm up at least until 8:15 so why hurry?

Others think being late is cool. Sets them apart.

They say the only way to change such behavior is not to wait for them. If they’re late for lunch, order without them. If it’s an important business meeting, make a key decision or two before they get there. (I’ve probably missed a lot of important decisions but I have no idea what they were because I wasn’t there.)

Late people use different strategies. They might apologize profusely or pretend they’re on time because an apology would sound weak. A good story sometimes helps — a flat tire, a terminally ill grandmother or couldn’t find parking. The latter is usually believable in Kamloops.

There are lots of sayings about being late. You’d be late for your own funeral. It’s never too late. Sooner or later. There’s a big difference between late and too late.

This is one of my favourites: the trouble with being on time is that there’s nobody there to appreciate it.

And now I must go. I’m running a little late.

AROUND THE TOWN — Coffeed with chamber president Aleece Laird, who has recently taken over from Bob Dieno, said to be strongly considering a run for a City council seat… and talking to Denis Walsh at the Ploughman, he sounds interested too, though nothing definite yet… A.M. News columnist Daniela Ginta is on the board of the new downtown-West End community association…. Kamloops portrait artist Mairie Budreau has completed a renovation of her Barnhartvale studio… talked with new B.C. Conservative Party leader Dan Brooks; turns out we’d met once before at a meeting I was probably late for….

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