ARMCHAIR ARCHIVES – Draining the swamp is nothing new, not in Kamloops

Long, long ago, before Donald Trump and Elon Musk came along to drain the swamp, take a chainsaw to bureaucracy and seek revenge on political opponents, there was the Kamloops News Resignation of the Week. The following column was first published on March 21, 1979.

WE AT THE NEWS have been contemplating for some time a Resignation of the Week feature for the editorial pages.

It has become obvious in the last two weeks that such a feature is unnecessary — Kamloops is providing it for us ready made.

There was, first of all, Don Carter’s demand that TNRD board chairman Walter Winter resign. That seemed to start the ball rolling because next thing you know we had some people in CUPE Local 900 calling for the resignation of national reps Jim Kelly and Barry Thorsteinson.

But things are starting to cool off after this great start. So far this week there hasn’t been a single call for a resignation. Closest we’ve come is a request by the Okanagan and Mainline District Council of CUPE for a complete investigation of the affairs of Local 900 and of business agent Bill Ferguson.

Close, but in the resignation game, this ain’t horseshoes. If those CUPE people had only realized that all they had to do was demand Bill Ferguson’s resignation….

If things don’t pick up by the end of the week, we may indeed have to implement our Resignation of the Week column. Such a feature has unlimited possibilities.

Locally, for example, we might demand that Graydon Hayward resign as mayor of Kamloops. If that doesn’t work we’ll ask that Emily Latta resign as mayor of Kamloops.

On the sports scene, we would, of course, require the immediate resignation of the Vancouver Canucks (they could be hired back the next day).

Going a little further afield, we could adamantly insist that Maggie Trudeau resign. Whatever it is she’s doing. And if we’d done that last week, we could have followed up this week with Senator Edward Kennedy.

The news staff here is already drunk with power just thinking about the idea. They imagine the international wire services looking to them for the latest hot resignation scoop: “KAMLOOPS (UPC) — The resignation of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was uncategorically demanded today. In a copyrighted story, The Kamloops News….”

But, of course, we have to remember our roots as a community oriented newspaper. After all, it’s the local people who made us what we are today and we mustn’t forget them.

Hence, while on the one hand we might be informing Prince Andrew that his time is up, we would also be insisting that Al MacLeod resign his job as the Kamloops School Board.

The next time we don’t like the local crime statistics, we’ll ask for the resignation of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, to be replaced with the local chapter of Transcendental Meditation. Should there not be an immediate improvement in the collective consciousness and good vibrations, we would boot out the TMers and bring in somebody else.

Others whose resignations might be on the priority list:

Farrah Fawcett-Majors, the Pope, the post office, the seal hunters, Grace McCarthy, Kim Scott, the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Don Carter, Romeo LeBlanc, Bill vanderZalm, the Village People, Cyril Shelford, Bill Otway, Superman, Miss Kamloops, Billy Carter and the Unknown Runner.

The possibilities are endless. These people come from all walks of life, and by demanding their resignations we can effectively place the blame for all our troubles. Most therapeutic. The biggest problem with today’s society is that we don’t know who to blame for our problems.

Suggestions are awaited.

***

Remember the big plans the local Transcendental Meditation folks had a few months ago to purchase Lac Le Jeune or some other facility to set up a major learning centre in order to spread the word?

That idea has, at least temporarily, gone down the tube. Bill Ayling of the local TMers says the group has simply been too busy with other things. Like establishing world peace.

One thing you can say for the TMers, they think big. After all, expanding the mind is what TM is all about.

***

There is no truth to the rumor that there is a plan afoot to replace the seal hunt with an alternative industry — a chocolate moose factory.

Mel Rothenburger has been writing about Kamloops since 1970. He is a former mayor of Kamloops, former school board chair, former editor of The Kamloops Daily News, and a former director on the Thompson-Nicola Regional District board. He was awarded the Jack Webster Foundation’s lifetime achievement award in 2011 and was a 2019 Commentator of the Year finalist in the Webster Awards. He has been a regular commentator on CBC Daybreak and CFJC Today. Contact him at mrothenburger@armchairmayor.ca.