EDITORIAL – Suicide awareness event is both sad and uplifting

An editorial by Mel Rothenburger.

ATTENDING THE ANNUAL walk for suicide awareness is not, on the face of it, an uplifting experience. In some respects, I find it something of a downer.

And yet, I feel so grateful to the organizers and sponsors because raising the profile of suicide in our community and across the country is such an important thing to do.

Guest speakers at the event on McArthur Island on Saturday told us this was a safe place to share our memories and our grief, and not to feel embarrassed if we shed tears. Yet, as tears welled in my eyes I silently, quickly, wiped them away, not comfortable in sharing my personal moment of profound sadness in this “safe place.”

SEE ALSO: Suicide – we’ve got to change the way we talk about it

It’s not that I don’t think we should talk about suicide. Far from it. Much of what was said on Saturday — about the need to talk more about it so we can do more about it — agreed completely with what I’ve been writing and saying about suicide for years, especially since our own family was struck by it not once but twice with the loss of Edyn and Mykel.

About 250 people attended Saturday’s walk, roughly the same number as last year. Before that, a few dozen people would gather to mark World Suicide Prevention Day (which, this year, actually occurs tomorrow). The theme is, appropriately, “Change the narrative.”

The increasing number of attendees is a tribute to organizers who are committed to raising the volume of the conversation. It also provides a hint of the numbers who have been affected by suicide but, previously, have been unwilling or not ready to acknowledge it in public, or maybe simply didn’t have the opportunity.

In 2019, I was asked to give the keynote address at a World Suicide Prevention Day event here in Kamloops. One of the things I noted in my remarks was that TRU lecturer Rebecca Sanford (still very much involved in the annual event, and was one of the speakers on Saturday) had found through her research that the traditional wisdom that for every suicide, about six people are affected, is much too low.

She estimated the number to be closer to 135 when the various community connections to each individual are considered.

I believe her to be right, and that means that friends, relatives and acquaintances of those lost to suicide likely number thousands in our community alone.

Thousands whose lives have been changed and who live every day with profound loss.

I began these comments by saying the Saturday event was not uplifting but, in one sense it was. It provided assurance that we’re making progress. The more willing we are to talk freely about suicide, the closer we’ll get to more effective prevention.

And the day will come when we’re thankful for  the fact that fewer people need to attend such events, rather than more.

Mel Rothenburger is a former regular contributor to CFJC-TV and CBC radio, publishes the ArmchairMayor.ca opinion website, and is a recipient of the Jack Webster Foundation Lifetime Achievement Award, and a Webster Foundation Commentator of the Year finalist. He has served as mayor of Kamloops, school board chair and TNRD director, and is a retired daily newspaper editor.  He can be reached at mrothenburger@armchairmayor.ca.