BEPPLE – Build peace, stop asking people, ‘Where are you from?’

MY SISTER IS a buitenlander. My sister was born in Canada but for the last 25 years she has lived and worked in The Netherlands.  It doesn’t matter that she is now a Dutch citizen, is a fluent speaker of Dutch, works in Dutch or has two Dutch children.  In her fellow Dutch citizens’ eyes, she is and always will be a buitenlander.

Buitenlander means foreigner in Dutch, but it literally means outsider.

My sister is an outsider in the country she holds citizenship in, and has lived in for 25 years. She will never be considered Dutch.

In Canada, we don’t call people buitenlanders but we have another way of saying someone is an outsider.  We do it by asking “where are you from”?  As in “you obviously can’t be from here.”

I cannot recall when I was last asked “where are you from,” if ever.

I suppose it is because I’m from here.  But that isn’t totally the case.  My mother was born in England and came here as a teenager with her parents.  My father is from Kamloops.  Well sort of.  He was born in Trochu, Alberta to newly arrived immigrants from Romania.  Five of his brothers and sisters were born in Romania too.  He moved with his family to Kamloops when he was 2.

So if I was asked where I was from, I could say Kamloops because of my father, or England and Romania because of my mother and grandparents.  Or I could say Crofton, because that was where I was born.  I only moved to Kamloops when I was 10.

But I am never asked “where are you from,” and I’m never told I’m a buitenlander.  People assume that I belong here.

While I am never asked “where are you from,” I know a woman in Kamloops who was born and raised in Vancouver is asked that question frequently.

That woman and I have many things in common.  Our parents and grandparents both immigrated to Canada and eventually settled in B.C. We are both well-educated and have good paying jobs.  We are both active volunteers in our communities.

But she is Muslim and wears a hijab, a religious head covering.  I have fairer skin and don’t wear noticeable symbols of my faith.

She is frequently asked “where are you from.”  When she answers “Vancouver,” she is asked “but where are you really from.”  They don’t believe she is from here.  She is seen as a buitenlander in someone’s eyes.

The killing and injury to Muslims while they prayed in two Christchurch mosques on Friday, March 15 was horrific.  One goes to a mosque, a church, a house of worship, or any religious place to be in peace. Not to be mowed down by a semi-automatic rifle.  Someone saw those Muslim worshipers as outsiders to be killed.  It was Islamophobia to the extreme.

As we pick up the pieces, both figuratively and literally, of this latest attack, the question is what to do next.  I know I can feel helpless in the face of hate.

The answer is to build peace, one action at a time.

Here are three we can do.

First, attend The Walk to Embrace Diversity on Thursday, March 21 starting at 11 a.m. at 115 Tranquille Road.  Join others celebrating Kamloops as a place for people of all ethnicities, cultures and faith traditions.

Second, attend the Ayesha Mosque’s prayer service to remember and honour the victims of the New Zealand mosque shootings.  It is on Friday, March 22 at 6 p.m., at Ayesha Mosque, 2805 Highway 5A, Knutsford, B.C.

Third, stop calling others buitenlanders.  Stop asking “where are you from.”  Ask “do you live in Kamloops,” “why did you move to Kamloops” or “why did decide to stay in Kamloops.”

“We are very lucky to live here in Kamloops.  We live in a peaceful city.”  Those are not my words, but of a Muslim man I talked to this week.

No, brother.  We are so lucky to have you and fellow Muslims living in our city, helping to build a more inclusive and peaceful place for all of us.

Nancy Bepple is a former City councillor of Kamloops with a strong interest in community building projects.