ROTHENBURGER — Zipper merge easier said than done

COLUMN — Despite urgings from the City to use the “zipper merge technique” during the now-daily traffic jams crossing the Overlanders Bridge, my observations Thursday morning suggest most drivers are reluctant to button up their politeness and go for it.

I’m one of them. About one in 30 cars zipped by in the righthand lane. I and everyone else waited. Oh, I was tempted, but peeling past everyone else to the front of the line just seems rude as hell.

I get the principle, but we’re Canadian, for crying out loud. We would no more shove in at a construction zone than we would in a buffet lineup. Instead, I sat there, not moving an inch for minutes at a time, and passed the time tweeting, for which I predictably caught hell from a couple of fellow tweeters for setting a bad example. Distracted driving and all that. (If you’re not driving, because you aren’t moving, how can it be distracted?)

Anyway, even after the early morning rush, traffic is now backing up from the bridge all the way to the Northills Mall, creating long lineups and long waits. Once vehicles make it onto the bridge — which has been reduced to one lane each way since Wednesday — movement picks up but it’s slow going until then.

According to the City, the zipper merge would move things along quicker. Under that system, you’re supposed to wait until you see the “lane closed ahead” sign and “then take turns with other drivers to safely and smoothly ease into the remaining lane.”

The alleged benefits of the zipper merge, according to the City, are:

• reduces differences in speeds between two lanes

• reduces the overall length of traffic backup by as much as 40 per cent and,

• creates a sense of fairness and equity that all lanes are moving at the same rate.

There are probably statistics to back up the first two claims but the last one is a stretch. Tearing past everyone else after they’ve already merged does the opposite of create a sense of fairness and equity. After I’ve merged in my rightful place at the back of the line I expect everyone who comes after me to be behind me, not in front.

Logic might tell me something different, but that’s what habit decrees. Do you hold a door open for someone who arrives at the same time, or do you just rush ahead because it’s faster? When you approach the supermarket checkout, do you politely take your place at the end of the line, or do you pull out, speed up and merge at the cashier? If you’ve got a dozen items and the person behind you has one, do you let him or her go first, or do you muscle through to save time? Are you the first to step out of the elevator, or the last?

You get my point. This zipper merge thing could destroy our way of life. As Stephen Harper might say, it’s inconsistent with our Canadian values.

When I tweeted that I couldn’t bring myself to pull out and pass in the right lane, CFJC’s James Peters helpfully tweeted back that if I did work up the courage, the left lane would start moving faster. Then, Bob Price came on NL encouraging more people to use the Overlanders because the Halston detour has been creating accidents. That seemed like rubbing salt in it.

(On my way home late in the afternoon, I decided to try the Halston route via the Red Bridge and it was slow but steady.)

Anyway, after construction started on the Overlanders last week, I convinced myself the whole thing was going to be a non-event. Boy, was I wrong. Five months of this?

Tomorrow, I’ll try to refrain from tweeting in traffic. If Kamloops had one, I’d read the newspaper instead. In the lefthand lane.

armchairmayor@gmail.com