Frootloops council positively awash in talent

The brand-new fresh-start Frootloops council gathers for an important meeting. The mayor is in fine fettle.

MAYOR PETER WONDERBAR: My fellow members of council and all who reside in this Frootopia we call home, may the spirit of The Season be upon you! We have before us the question of entertainment for our annual Holiday party, to which, by the way, I’ve invited 235 special guests…. I observe, Coun. Greenthumbs, that you are standing on your head.

COUN. DONOVAN GREENTHUMBS: I’m letting the blood run to my brain — it helps me think.

COUN. NELLY OVERACHIEVER: Your Worldliness, I know we’ll be dealing later on with Coun. Greenthumbs’ notice of motion to exchange our armchairs for treadmills. In the meantime, I suggest we kick off our meetings with a bit of Tae Bo. It’s time to trim the fat at City Hall!

WONDERBAR: Being all about positivity and inclusiveness, I concur that we should seriously consider your idea before we shoot it down.

COUN. MARG SPIROGRAPH: We could play musical chairs instead!

WONDERBAR: This, too, is certainly worthy of input, after which I will over-rule it. We get enough exercise changing our minds.

COUN. TINA TOAST: Your Pleasantness, I have an idea….

WONDERBAR: Before you go further, may I ask we don’t do anything that would pile more responsibilities on our overworked staff. Look at them — they’re positively exhausted, poor things.

COUN. TOAST: I was only going to suggest….

WONDERBAR: Look, it’s not my fault everybody is a little stressed this time of year. Don’t blame me for everything. This is an exhausting job. Do you realize how many times I have to leave the room every meeting, just because of a few little conflicts of interest? Stand up, leave the room, come back, sit down, get up, leave the room! Who needs more exercise? I’m turning into a shadow of my former self.

COUN. TOAST: I just thought maybe we could turn up the thermostat. It’s chilly in here.

WONDERBAR: Note to self: “I am not a cranky pants; I am not a cranky pants!” Mr. Doodle, would you mind turning up the heat?

RANDY DOODLE: Sorry, Your Awesomeness, I’m busy catching 40 winks. I’ll defer to Mr. McSnorkle.

BYRON McSNORKLE: Can’t help you, Your Stupendousness. I’m tweeting.

COUN. PAT WATCHDOG: Your Inspirationalship, if entertainment for our party is going to mean a tax increase, I refuse to vote for it.

COUN. NANCY BUBBLES: Since I play the banjo, Your Sensation, I thought maybe we could provide our own entertainment at the party this year. It wouldn’t cost a dime!

COUN. KEN CHISTMAS: I’m pretty good at leaning back in my chair without falling over.

COUN. ARJUN SINGALONG: I have a very special talent, Your Niceness. I can talk for, say, 20 minutes, and nobody understands a word I’ve said.

COUN. OVERACHIEVER: Did you know I have an earlobe shaped like Santa Claus and his eight tiny reindeer?

COUN. GREENTHUMBS: I could cater — I make a mean spicy vegetarian buswrap!

WONDERBAR: And I suppose I could give one of my lectures about people who disagree with me, or who want us to get another report done — they’re really quite riveting. By gosh, I think I’m getting into the true Winter Break spirit! Meeting adjourned!